giving up control Archives - Sharla Fritz

Why Giving Up Control Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

“Sharla, you most certainly would be classified as a Field Marshal.”

My sister-in-law’s words caught me off guard. I was sitting at the dinner table enjoying a relaxed meal with my extended family.  We were passing potatoes and sharing stories when my sister-in-law began talking about a personality test she was using at work. She was so excited about the test that she started to guess how each of us might be classified.

She went around the table, identifying each person: “You would probably be called a Mastermind.” “I think you would be a Champion.” “You might be a Healer.”

I wondered what I might be. Mastermind or Champion sounded impressive. But when my sister-in-law looked at me and called me a Field Marshal, I was stunned. How could she compare me to a bossy military commander who ordered troops?

Was she right? Did other people perceive me as bossy and controlling? Even though I wasn’t convinced I was the one wearing a field marshal uniform, my sister-in-law’s comment forced me to look at myself. Well, I did like to keep things organized. Like an army officer, I took charge of my surroundings: clothes arranged by color, kitchen utensils by use, and books by author’s last name. But did that make me a control freak?

OK, maybe I wore that field marshal uniform more often than I wanted to admit. I noticed my inner control freak often came out when working with others. I couldn’t help offering “suggestions”: “Don’t you think it would be better if we did it this way?” “I’ve found this method to be much more successful.” “I really don’t think that’s right.”

Then I realized I sometimes did the same thing with my heavenly Father: “God, my life would be so much better if You answered my prayers according to my plan.” “This is not the way my life should be going!”

When I looked at myself honestly, I couldn’t deny I had a few control issues. So I took my sister-in-law’s words to heart and tried to change my ways. I realized that my relationships with God and the people in my life could be improved if I stepped out of the commander’s uniform.

If we’re truthful, we all like to be in control. But when we’re ready to change, the first step is realizing that God is the One wearing the field marshal suit.

James 4:7 says,

“Submit yourselves therefore to God.”

The Greek word for submit is actually a military term meaning “to rank under.” In other words, if I am submitting to God, I am willing to obey Him. I am the one who takes orders, not gives them.

Okay, I admit this is not easy, especially for someone labeled a Field Marshal. It goes against everything in me to let God be in charge of my life. I want things to go my way.

But then I remember: God is God and I am not. No matter how badly I want to control the universe to my advantage, the truth is—God is in control. When I pull against His leading, I am only struggling out of His loving hand.

A surprising thing happens when I stop straining and allow my heavenly Father to lead me. When I let Him direct my life, I find that I’m happier than when I foolishly think I’m the one in charge. When I stop pounding my fists and demanding my way, I can open up my hands for God’s blessings.

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This post was adapted from my book for teens and young women:

Divine Makeover: God Makes You Beautiful.

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