Contentment Archives - Page 3 of 4

Sharla April 17, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Expectations

Expectations.

I have a bunch of clothes in my closet that I should throw out because they have failed to live up to my expectations.

the “slim-secret” jeans that actually reveal every secret of my figure
the jacket that I thought would coordinate with so many outfits, but I have yet to find a single item it matches

Expectations.
Maybe it would be good to just throw them out all together.

When I graduated from college with a music degree, I expected to have a bevy of piano students knocking at my door. I assumed I would have an abundance of pupils excelling in music-making.

And even though I married to a pastor, I did not expect to be the church organist. In fact, I told God I would never become a church organist.

However, my husband’s first church was in Missoula, Montana–a beautiful town that an abundance of fine piano teachers and a church (our church) that had no organist. And so my music degree was put to work on the organ.

Life was not turning out as I expected.

The trouble with expectations is that they set you up for disappointment. Just when I think the thing I most want is in my grasp, it falls away. Just when the vision I want for my life begins to focus, it all fades to black.

But even when our expectations have let us down, it doesn’t mean there is no hope.

It just means that we have put our hope in the wrong thing.

The psalmist Asaph had to talk to his soul when he was discouraged. Perhaps his expectations had been crushed. He said:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:5

When I put my hope in specific happenings, I may be disappointed.

But if I put my hope and expectations in God, I am never disillusioned. Things may not go as I have planned, but God has bigger and better things in mind.
I had certain expectations for my career. I expected happiness and fulfillment to come through piano teaching.

I hated playing the organ and fulling assumed that I would be miserable sitting on the organ bench Sunday after Sunday.
But it turned out that I found joy in using my musical training to praise God. My expectations for my career were not fulfilled, but my joy in God was.

Expectations.

Let’s throw them out. Let’s not assume our lives will go according to our plans. Life is unpredictable.

Let’s release the belief that happiness and joy are only available when our expectations are met.

Instead, let’s put our hope in God. Let’s expect that God has something wonderful for us just around the corner.

Next step: What expectations for your life have you been clinging to? Write a prayer giving them to God and praising Him that He has something wonderful planned for your life.

Filed Under: Contentment, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: expectations, Spring cleaning

Sharla April 3, 2018

Spring Cleaning: Let’s Throw Out Comparison

Spring is here–at least according to the calendar. So it’s time to do a little spring cleaning.

For me, spring cleaning involves vacuuming under the furniture (It’s amazing how much dust can accumulate under beds and behind desks!) And doing jobs I tend to neglect. (The other day I hit a lampshade with the vacuum and the shade changed from gray to white!)

My spring cleaning ritual also involves sorting out my closet. It’s time to get out my spring and summer clothes and store the bulky winter items. Time to reassess my wardrobe and toss out the clothes that aren’t working for me anymore.

But let’s not stop with spring cleaning our homes and closets–let’s do a little spring cleaning of the heart. It’s time to toss out things we thought would fit us and make us feel good, but actually make us uncomfortable and miserable.

First on the list–comparison.

If Comparison 101 were offered as a college course, most of us women would have no trouble earning an A+ in that class.

We tend to compare our figures and our hair. We measure up our homes and decor. We look at our friends’ purses, cell phones, shoes, jewelry…and wonder if ours are as good.

But comparison rarely leads to anything positive. It may lead to pride if today’s comparison makes me feel a little better than someone else.

Or it may lead to feeling like a failure if in my current comparison I am not as thin or beautiful or successful or…

Comparison seems like a natural fit, but it always chafes and irritates our hearts. It’s time to throw it out.

Read God’s Word:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:10

When I read that I hear God whispering:

Don’t compare yourself to others, because I purposely made you just as you are.

I put you together with careful craftsmanship and intentional quality.

Don’t second-guess Me and wonder why I didn’t make you more like “her.”

I love you exactly as you are.

It’s time to throw out comparison. Accept yourself as God’s workmanship.

Next step: Read the words of Psalm 139:10. Turn them into a prayer that you repeat whenever you’re tempted to compare yourself to someone else today.

Filed Under: Contentment, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: comparison, Spring cleaning

Sharla November 28, 2017

3 Ways Abiding in Christ Can Change Your Life: Remaining

What does abiding in Christ mean? First, it means connecting. Second, it means keeping. Third, it means remaining.

When my husband graduated from seminary, his first call as a pastor was to a church in Missoula, Montana. He had asked for placement in the northeastern part of the United States. So naturally, the powers that be thought Montana would be perfect.

When we first arrived in the city, we immediately wanted to leave. We knew no one. Our family was all in the Midwest or the Northeast. We were lonely and disillusioned. But God asked us to stay–to remain.

This word–remain–helps me understand the concept of abiding in Christ. Lately, I’ve been studying the word abide: What does it mean to abide? What does abiding look like in real life? How can abiding change me?

One of the English meanings of the word abide is “to dwell or reside” as in “I abide in a quaint but remote mountain village.” When you abide somewhere you live there. You stay there. You remain there.

To abide is to remain.

South African pastor Andrew Murray wrote:

It is faith in what Christ is, more than anything else, that will keep you abiding in Him…there is nothing wanting but just my consent to be what He has made me, to remain where He has placed me. I am in Christ.

To remain is to accept who I am in Christ–to not try to be something I’m not.

To remain is to be content where I am–to not fight the place or position God has placed me in.

To remain is to trust God’s goodness, His timing, and His plans for my life.

3 WaysAbiding in ChristCan Change Your LifeRemaining

Remaining sounds easy. And it is–if you like where you are.

But when the place God has placed you is filled with difficulty–you simply want to move on.

When we first moved to Missoula, Montana we wanted to leave. We did not want to stay. The heartache of loneliness made us want to move on.

But eventually, we grew to love Missoula. Its setting in the Rocky Mountains is stunning. The people of our church were welcoming. The ministry was rewarding.

Remaining was not easy, but in the end, it was worth it.

As I continue to study what it means to abide in Christ, I am learning that it means to remain where He has placed me. To accept His plan for my life.

This changes my life. If I make the decision to abide, I don’t spend my energy trying to move ahead of God’s will. I don’t constantly struggle against my place or position in life. Instead, I focus on what God wants me to do where I am right now. I remain in His love, drawing on His strength to produce fruit where He has placed me.

To abide is to remain.

Next step: Is remaining easy or difficult for you right now? Ask the Father to give you the strength to remain and produce fruit where you are–whatever your place or station in life.

Filed Under: Contentment, Spiritual Disciplines Tagged With: abide, soul care

Sharla October 3, 2017

4 Keys to Finding Enough: Recognize Your Broken Wanter

Why is contentment so difficult to attain? Why do we always want more? This post is part of a series on finding enough.

When my husband and I were first married, we moved all of our belongings into our first apartment by loading used furniture onto a borrowed snowmobile trailer. (Can you tell I’m from Wisconsin?) The next time we moved we needed a small U-Haul truck and the next time a bigger truck. Each time we moved we had acquired more things and needed a bigger truck to cart those belongings to a new home.

I don’t think we are the only ones. Our society excels in collecting things. We fill closets with clothes, shoes, and accessories. We stuff garages with cars, bikes, and tools. We pile up dinnerware in our cupboards and mementos in our basements. And if all those places get too full, we can drive down the street and rent a storage space. There is always room for more.

Except, do we really need more? Could it be that the accumulation of more is filling our homes but draining our energy? That the amassing of things is stuffing our closets but emptying our souls? Perhaps the popularity of stories about the Amish way of life and blogs about minimalism demonstrate that we’re sick of excess. We long for simplicity and yet we struggle with the question, “What is enough?”

Could it be that the amassing of things is stuffing our closets but emptying our souls? Click To Tweet

Part of the problem is that ever since Adam and Eve gave into an appetite for forbidden fruit and a thirst to be like God, we have been stuck with broken wanters. A wanter that can make me crave a slice of decadent chocolate cheesecake even after I’ve had soup, salad, and an enormous platter of chicken marsala. A wanter that can make me long for those adorable red pumps in the shoe store window even though I have twenty-five pairs of shoes in the closet. Our broken wanters prevent us from attaining enough.

In fact, our wanters are so broken, that we sometimes we have difficulty in discerning our true desires. Damaged wanters are so prevalent that a new profession has sprung up. For only $300 an hour you can hire a wantologist—someone who will help you distinguish what you really want from what you only think you want. For instance, you might go to a wantology session with a wish for a promotion at work and leave with the realization that what you really want is to quit your job. Because of our broken wanters, we don’t know what will actually satisfy our souls. So, we continually search for the next bauble, the next promotion, the next relationship that we are sure will bring happiness.

Scripture tells us about our broken wanters:

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. Ephesians 4:22

Our old sinful natures are twisted and tainted by deceitful desires. Desires for things that we think will make us happy, but fail us every time. We fall for Satan’s lies that this item, this relationship, this money will satisfy.

Thankfully, we don’t have to be stuck with broken wanters. Psalm 37:4 tells us:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

When the Holy Spirit works faith in our hearts and we are able to find joy in the almighty Lord, He gives us desires of the heart. Desires for things that will truly satisfy our souls. Instead of seeking the next bauble or the next promotion we long for God’s peace, God’s love, God’s grace which are always free.

On our own, we are incapable of achieving enough. But one of the ways we can find contentment is to recognize our broken wanters and ask the Lord to give us authentic desires.

Next step: Make a list of things you currently long for. How many of these things are guaranteed to satisfy your soul? Ask God to give you desires for things that will truly satisfy your soul.

Filed Under: Bible Study, Contentment Tagged With: contentment, enough

Sharla February 7, 2017

When You Struggle With Enough

When I was a little kid sitting in church listening to the pastor read the Bible, I loved it when Psalm 23 was one of the day’s lessons. I would look up at the big stained glass window of Jesus holding a little lamb. I could easily picture Jesus as a Shepherd playing with the sheep, leading them to a bubbling creek, finding their favorite snack—green grass.

But one part of the psalm always puzzled me: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” What could that mean? Didn’t David want God to be his shepherd? Did he want a different shepherd?

One Sunday after church when Psalm 23 was again part of the service, I decided to ask my mother, “Mom, what does that part of that psalm mean—I shall not want?”

“Well, it means that because God was David’s shepherd, David didn’t want anything else.”

Mmm…this seemed even more confusing. I was still at the age when I thought my mother knew everything, so I didn’t question her. But I didn’t understand. Sure her answer made more sense than not wanting Jesus for a shepherd. But how could David not want anything else? Didn’t he want food or clothes? How could you not want chocolaty fudgesicles or Barbie dolls?

Now that I’m a little more grown up (I still love fudgesicles) I understand a bit more. David’s statement, “I shall not want” meant that he was content with what he had. He was saying, “Because God is taking care of me, I have everything I need.” He trusted that God would not only provide food and clothes but rest and comfort, protection and mercy. David was wearing the color of contentment.

When I’m wearing envy green I’m constantly looking at what I don’t have. I’m comparing what I have with what I see others possess. I complain that what I have is not enough.

But on those rare occasions when I put on the color of contentment, I remember that God has always taken care of me. I begin to trust that He really does know what He is doing and is leading me on the path that is best for me. Instead of complaining about what I don’t have, I start to notice the blessings already in reach.

Lately, I’ve heard God whispering the word enough. Through His Word I hear Him asking me to look at what I already have and realize that it is exactly what I need right now. The Shepherd gently tells me, “I love you. If you needed more, I would give you more. Trust me—you have enough.”

My Shepherd tells me, “I love you. If you needed more, I would give you more. Trust me—you have enough.” Click To Tweet

When I struggle to get rid of my envy green outfit, I try to take myself back to the view of the stained glass window of Jesus holding the little lamb. When I start to look at what I don’t have, I remember David’s confidence that his Shepherd would give him everything he needed. I repeat his words, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” and ask God to help me wear the color of contentment.

Next step: Which color are you wearing today? Envy green? Or the color of contentment? Post the words of Psalm 23:1 somewhere you will see them often today to remind yourself of the Shepherd’s care.

This post was adapted from my book for teens and young women:

Divine Makeover: God Makes You Beautiful.

Perhaps you have been looking for a resource for your youth group or a study to do with your daughter. Or maybe you need a confirmation or graduation gift for a lovely young woman.

Check out Divine Makeover at CPH and Amazon.

Filed Under: Contentment

Sharla February 16, 2016

The Mystery of Psalm 23

When I was a little girl I loved hearing the twenty-third psalm read in church. But I always sensed a mystery of Psalm 23.

It was easy to picture Jesus as a shepherd because in the sanctuary there was a huge stained glass window of Jesus holding a staff in one hand and a snow-white lamb in the other.

However, there was one thing about that psalm that always puzzled me. To me, the mystery of Psalm 23 came when the pastor read, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” The last part sounded like the guy who wrote the psalm didn’t want Jesus to be his shepherd.

And that just didn’t make any sense.

Finally, one Sunday I asked my mother to explain that verse. She told me that the writer was trying to say that because Jesus was his shepherd he didn’t want anything else.

Well, that made a little more sense, but how could that be?

I mean, how could you not want chocolate ice-cream cones? Or Barbie dolls? Or sleepover parties?

Even now–all grown up–I want Jesus to be my Shepherd. But sometimes it’s hard not to want other things. Like family to be close. Like friends who don’t move away. Like health for my loved ones.

But maybe having Jesus as my Shepherd, doesn’t necessarily mean automatic contentment here on earth.

Look at the way the NIV (1984) translates that verse:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” Psalm 23:1

This take on the verse assures me that Jesus my Shepherd will give me what I need. I won’t be in a state of want. I might not have everything I desire, but I will have everything I need.

The rest of Psalm 23 tells us everything that God provides:

food and water (v. 2)
rest (v. 2)
restoration (v.3)
guidance (v. 3)
protection (v. 4)
His presence (v. 4)
goodness and love (v. 6)
eternal life (v. 6)

What do you most need today? Where does it fit in the list above? Look up that verse now.

Maybe you no longer yearn for Barbie dolls or sleepovers. But life is hard and we often have unfulfilled longings.

Take all your desires to the Shepherd. Trust that He will carry you in His arms today and give you exactly what you need.

Background information for Psalm 23: Psalm 23 is in the first book of Psalms (which includes Psalms 1-41). The psalm is a psalm of trust. It was written by David who grew up tending sheep. He knew firsthand the duties and responsibilities of a shepherd. Read the psalm here.

Next step: Write down your greatest need (or desire). Look up the corresponding verse in Psalm 23. Write it on a card to carry with you today or on sticky note to post it where you can see it often. Picture yourself being carried like a lamb in the arms of Jesus.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: Psalm 23

Sharla January 26, 2016

Three Reasons to Avoid Shortcuts in Life

My husband and I were driving to Columbia, Missouri to visit our son and his wife. It was a beautiful sunny day and were were enjoying the six-hour drive until…

Traffic on the Interstate slowed and stopped. Instead of zipping along at 70 miles per hour, we were now crawling along at 7 miles per hour–or less!

I called my son to tell him we would probably be later than expected. He got on his computer and discovered that a huge accident had occurred. Yep–this was going to take awhile.

But then he also found an alternate route–a frontage road that ran along the highway. “You should be able to follow that until you are past the accident,” he said. So we exited the freeway at the next opportunity and were soon rushing past the parked cars on the Interstate.

We were feeling rather smug until traffic on the frontage road slowed and stopped. It seemed we were not the only cars to have the idea of the shortcut and now the skinny frontage road couldn’t handle all the traffic.

In fact, the pace was so slow on the shortcut that before we were able to pass the accident site, the damaged cars were towed away and traffic on the Interstate flowed ahead. Cars and trucks we had been stuck behind in the traffic jam now passed us up.

Taking the shortcut had actually cost us time.

Isn’t that often the case in life as well?

Sometimes life’s problems cause a traffic jam in the progress to my goals. God tells me to trust Him. He reminds me to wait–He has everything under control. But I get impatient and try to elbow my way past God’s plan. I rely on my own puny self-sufficiency instead of God’s almighty power.

As I have thought about this, I can see three reasons why I should avoid shortcuts in life:

Forcing my way ahead, may seem more productive, but may prevent me from learning valuable lessons. Taking the shortcut may seem faster (waiting always seems like a waste of time, right?), but it may also shortcut important life lessons only available during the waiting period. Psalm 25:5 says, “Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long” (emphasis added).
Impatience may lead me to disobedience and missing God’s blessing. In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel instructed King Saul to wait seven days when Samuel would return to offer the sacrifice. But Saul didn’t wait (1 Samuel 13) and in so doing lost the Lord’s blessing on his dynasty.
Doing things in my my own way and my own timetable may rob me of an opportunity to watch God in a marvelous, miraculous way. Psalm 52:9 says, “I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly” (emphasis added).

I hate waiting. But if a shortcut leads me away from God’s purpose for my the life. the shortcut is worse than the waiting. If an alternative route takes me away from God’s peaceful presence it isn’t worth it.

I’m making an effort to avoid detours. To ignore shortcuts. If God asks me to wait, I will say yes. He promises to provide the best route possible. He assures me His path is best.

Next step: Think about where in your life you are waiting right now. What shortcuts are you tempted to take? Write a prayer asking God to help you avoid them and to stay on the path He desires for your life.

Filed Under: Contentment, Waiting on God

Sharla October 29, 2015

When You’re Distracted By Your Desires

It doesn’t take much for me to become distracted by my desires

Take the time I wanted a new house more than anything. It wasn’t that the house we lived in was a hovel. It fact it was a two-story, four-bedroom, two-full-bath residence with a big backyard. The trouble was—it was old. And just a mile away, developers were constructing a brand-new subdivision of luxury homes. Suddenly, all the little flaws in my house were magnified. The windows that were painted shut were infuriating. The floor plan was aggravating. The well water that periodically turned my laundry orange was maddening.

I began to obsess about getting a new house. I lost sleep as I fantasized about a new place to live. I worried about saving money for a down payment. I failed to find anything good about my current home and in the process misplaced any tranquility I might have possessed. My new-house-obsession was a distraction from my real life.

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 37:4:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

A new house was definitely one of the desires of my heart. Every time I tried to open the windows I wished for a new house. Whenever I tried to clean the rust stains off the tub I hoped for a new home. I kept praying that God would answer that desire.

But although I knew verse 4 of Psalm 37 by memory, I had forgotten about verse 3:

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

God promises to give me the desires of my heart, but first He asks me to trust Him.

Lately I’ve been finding that when I’m having trouble trusting God, the best thing I can do is be honest with Him. When I’m distracted by things that I want, I can stuff those desires down because they’re not spiritual. I can avoid praying about them because they don’t seem like something God would care about.

But of course, God knows the desires of my heart anyway. So the best thing I can do is bring my whole wish list to Him. Even if the list has things that seem trivial or (gasp!) worldly, when I talk to God about them, He can help me sort them out.

This is more than just asking God to give me everything on the list.

It’s giving Him the list.

It’s trusting that in His love, He will know which of those things are good. It’s having faith that He will answer my prayers when the time is right.

You know, I struggled with new-house-distraction for a long time. I continued to be distracted by desires. But after I decided to trust God to give me what I needed, I learned to see its good points. And a couple of years after that, God blessed our family with a brand new house.

When I tell my gracious heavenly Father that I’m ready to trust Him, that’s when my heart changes. When I give God my desires, that’s when they lose their grip on my soul. When I hand God my list, my distracting desires give way to peace.

Next step: Do you find yourself distracted by desires? What desires have a grip on your soul? Write down your list of wants. Then give it to God, tell Him you trust Him to give you what is best–at the right time.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: contentment, desires, distraction

Sharla April 16, 2015

How to Like Your Life

Prefer the given.

I read this phrase in the book Grumble Hallelujah and it has stuck with me.

I loved the sound of it. But I didn’t love the reality of it. If life gives me the equivalent of the snack size sack of M & Ms I complain that I don’t have the super-size bag. I’m not satisfied with a “Tall” size life–I want the “Venti” size.

There are some things that I would like to change in my life if I could. I would prefer to be able to eat chocolate every day without gaining weight. I would prefer that my book be on the New York Times bestseller list. I would prefer that my grandchildren would live across town instead of half-way around the world.

But I believe God is speaking to me through the phrase: “Prefer the Given.” After all, it sounds a lot like Paul’s words in Philippians:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.(Philippians 4:11)

Discontent is wanting something different. And wanting something different is pushing back what God has placed in my life and saying, “No thank you.”

But to be content is to prefer the given. To prefer the given is to accept what is in my life right now with open hands.

When I’m discontent I’m always looking for a way out. I’m searching for something better.

But what if I preferred what God has given? Would my searching mechanism then be busy looking for hidden blessings in the situation? Would I scrutinize the problem for a lesson to be learned? Would I eagerly look for an opportunity to meet God in a new way?

Prefer the given.

That is the way to truly like your life.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: contentment

Sharla March 5, 2015

What to Do When Life Disappoints

What do we do when life disappoints? Our natural reaction is to complain and grumble. We tell our sad story to anyone who will listen.

This is what I tend to do. Especially about the fact that my grandchildren live far away.

I make sure that all of my friends hear about my grandchildren in China—emphasis on China. I smile weakly as I talk about how much I miss them. When others talk about their grown children or grandchildren, I immediately remind them of my sad situation by sighing wistfully, “You are so lucky to have them close by.”

Thankfully, I have very sympathetic friends. They commiserate with me. They say, “Oh it would just kill me to have my kids so far away.” One friend even commented that my husband and I were the poster children (or would that be the poster parents?) for empty-nesters. He said everyone we knew could say, “At least we don’t have it as bad as John and Sharla.” Which made me laugh, but also served to worsen my case of poor-me-syndrome.

When our expectations are not met and we continue to yearn for the unattainable, we also tend to complain to God. All of our prayers start with the word, “Why?” We can’t come up with one good reason that God would have for not answering our prayers and giving us what we want.

When I have a really bad case of poor-me-syndrome, there are certain Bible passages I try to avoid. Passages like:

“Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73: 25-26

I brush over verses like this because I can’t seem to say, “God, there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” I’m ashamed to admit it. I want to be like the psalmist, but it just ain’t happening.

But if I stop avoiding the psalm and look at it a little closer, I notice that the psalmist did not come to those words easily. In the beginning of the psalm he was just like me asking, “Why do other people seem to have it so good?” It isn’t till the end of the psalm that he is able to come to the point of saying, “God is enough.”

And the answer is in the last verse of the psalm. Here he says, “But as for me, it is good to be near God” (verse 28). Being in God’s presence is what changes us.

Let that sink into your heart.

Nothing could be better than being near God.

Next step: Take all your disappointments to God. Then read Psalm 73 and rest in the assurance that even in the disappointments, God is near.

Filed Under: Contentment Tagged With: complaining, contentment, disappointments