success Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Sharla Fritz
July 2, 2015

Freedom From The Tyranny Of People-Pleasing

God has given me freedom, but I don’t always live as if I am free. I get tangled up in the chains of ambition and people-pleasing. Although I am free in Christ, I sometimes willingly step into shackles that prevent from living in that freedom.

It seems like this is nothing new. When the apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians, he said,

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. (Galatians 5:1)

The Galatians had experienced the freedom of salvation in Christ–the joyous freedom that comes when we realize that there is nothing we can do to earn salvation. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. Christ has already done everything necessary.

But they had been convinced by other people that they needed to follow some of the old laws, such as circumcision. They were willingly stepping into the shackles of trying to please other people by doing things God had told them they didn’t need to do.

And when I read this passage again, I realized that, in a way, I had done the same thing. Lofty ambitions, avid goals, and the desire to do what the “experts” tell me I need to do have chained me to an unrealistic work pattern. I have probably been trying to do more than God has asked me to do–more than I was meant to do.

Sisters in Christ, I hope that you have not been shackled to people-pleasing and working beyond what Christ has asked of you. But if you have, here a few steps you can take to break free of the chains.

  1. Write down everything that you do during a normal week and everything you feel you “should” be doing. Include everything from cooking meals and laundry to driving kids to school and organizing play dates.
  2. Take your long list into God’s presence and mentally lay it at His feet. Pray over each item. Ask yourself questions like: Is this activity necessary? Is there a simpler way to do this chore? Why am I choosing this activity–is it because God asked me to do it or I am doing this simply to impress the neighbors or please other people?
  3. Eliminate the activities that God asks you to purge from your calendar. Find simpler, less stressful ways to accomplish some of your chores. Do what God is calling you to do–but not more.

Experience the freedom of doing what God has asked you to do. Live free.

Next Step: Follow the three steps above to break free of the chains of people pleasing. Write Galatians 5:1 on a sticky note and display it where you will see it often.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
June 2, 2015

The Trouble With Living For Applause

We cannot live for applause.

I came to this conclusion when I finished a slow tour through the book of Mark. As I read, I reflected and slowly contemplated God’s message to me in these words.

The stories of the week leading up to Jesus’ death made this truth abundantly clear because of the 180-degree turn the crowds made that week.

On Palm Sunday, the crowd gathered around Jesus, laying their garments at His feet, and shouting praises:

“Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!  Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!” (Mark 11:9-10)

But just six short days later, the crowds changed their tune. Now they were shouting,

“Crucify Him!” (Mark 15:13)

Astounding. How could the people change their minds, their words, their opinion of Jesus so dramatically? How could they want Him to be their king at the beginning of the week and want Him dead by the end?

Of course, all of this had to happen for Christ to fulfill His mission to rescue us. But it also shows the fickleness of people.

One day you are invited to all the popular parties, the next you are excluded. One week the boss likes everything you do and the next someone else in the office is her favorite. One year you have great success, the next you are scrounging for business.

So if we are only living for the approval of people, we are in big trouble. People’s opinions change daily. What they like and don’t like is influenced by the media, the latest styles, and even by how much sleep they got the night before.

Jesus knew this so He wasn’t rocked by the applause OR the condemnations of the people. He simply focused on living to please His Father. He told His disciples,

“My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” (John 4:34)

and even said,

“I do not accept praise from men.” (John 5:41)

The trouble with living for applause of people is people are fickle. Their opinions are often inconsistent. If we keep living to please other humans we will find ourselves with a million different game plans. We will bounce from one goal to another because the world keeps changing. People’s opinions constantly fluctuate.

Instead we need to live to please the One who never changes. Our focus will be clearer if we let praise from men roll off our backs. Our lives will be richer and less chaotic if we live to do the will of the Father who loves us no matter what.

Next Step: Look at your schedule or to-do list for tomorrow. Choose one item and ask yourself: Am I doing this to please other people? What difference would it make if I worked at this task simply to please my Savior?

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: ,
May 26, 2015

When You Struggle to Find Success

 

definition of success

How do you define success?

The other day I was reading Genesis 39 and a verse about success jumped out at me.

The Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did. (Genesis 39:23 NIV 1984)

Out of context this verse may not be all that surprising. If you know the story of Joseph in the Old Testament, you know that he became a ruler in the land of Egypt. Only the Pharaoh was ranked higher than Joseph. The would fit most anyone’s definition of success.

But Joseph doesn’t become an important ruler until Genesis 41. In chapter 39 Joseph is not in a palace–he is stuck in a prison. The success he had was not in ruling a nation, but in aiding a prison warden manage the other prisoners.

So I wondered, did it look like success to Joseph?

I doubt it.

Maybe he thought: Sure the warden is impressed with me. But the only people who see my hard work are the ones stuck in this hole with me. What difference does it make?

Obviously it made a difference to God.

God saw Joseph’s work and declared it a success. So perhaps God’s view of success is a tad different than the world’s definition.

The world defines success in terms of how much money you make or how many people you influence. A prisoner in a dark cell working to help other prisoners simply wouldn’t be lauded for his achievement.

So why did God declare Joseph a success? Because Joseph did his best in whatever situation life threw at him. He was responsible and accountable. He worked hard even when it seemed that hard work would not benefit him personally.

That is God’s definition of success.

I often get hung up on the world’s definition of success. I tend to pay too much attention to the “experts” who tell me I need to sell more books, have more Facebook followers, have a bigger platform. But at least for today I’m going to listen to God and embrace His definition of success: Do your best wherever you are.

God sees. God knows. God will bless your work.

Next Step: What task do you need to accomplish today? Do it to the best of your ability. Declare it a success even if no one else notices.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With:
March 24, 2015

When You Can’t Do It By Yourself

eph 3-20

Every week people pass through my living room and take a turn sitting at my grand piano. I give them my undivided attention for thirty to sixty minutes while they play music by Mozart and Beethoven and Gershwin.  I help them make sense of fingering and eighth notes and terms like sforzando.

And I love it. Teaching piano is a joy.

This year I have three very young beginners. One girl who is only five herself comes with her mother and a little two-year old sister. While the older sister is having her piano lesson the little sister sits on the sofa while her mother tries to keep her occupied with storybooks and playing games on an iPad.

A couple of weeks ago the little sister was becoming very frustrated–making so much noise that it distracted my student. The mother explained, “She wants to play the game herself, but it’s hard so she gets frustrated when she can’t do it. But she gets angry when I try to to help.”

I had to laugh. Because this is exactly how I am with God.

I want to do stuff. I want to make a difference. I want to accomplish big things. So I work and work and sometimes it’s hard. I get frustrated because I cant’ do it. But do I go to God for help? Not….always. Instead, I act like a two-year-old and get angry when I can’t do it by myself.

Which is silly because trying to do something in my power without accessing the power of God is a little like trying to grate a pound of carrots by hand when all along I have an amazing food processor in my cupboard.

Ephesians 3:20 says:

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

God is able to accomplish infinitely more than we can imagine through his mighty power. Not through my genius. Not through my strength. Not through my determination.

So what does it look like to accomplish much in His mighty power?

Maybe it means stopping before I work to ask for His help.

Maybe it means admitting I need His assistance.

Maybe it means thanking Him that I don’t have to do it on my own.

Whew. I feel better already.

Next step: What would it look like in your life to work in God’s power instead of your own?Post Ephesians 3:20 where you will see it today.

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
September 12, 2013

When You Don’t Hear Any Applause and You Doubt Your Value

True confession time. I love applause.

I suppose most of us want the approval of others. We want to be told we are doing a good job. We love it when people tell us we’ve made a difference in their lives.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

The trouble comes when I base all of my value on what others think of me.

Sometimes I don’t hear an “Atta girl!” for a long time. Often rejection slips pile up much higher than acceptance letters. There are long periods of time when I don’t get any applause. And then I get a little low. OK, more than a little. I can get downright depressed. I can wonder if I’m worth anything at all.

Lately, God has been teaching me a lot in Psalm 62. Verse 7 jumped off the page.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

God tapped my on the shoulder and said: Did you catch that? Your honor doesn’t depend on how many trophies you get. Or how loud the applause is. Your honor depends on Me. Because you are My daughter you are treasured. You are valuable in My sight.

Wow. I’m humbled. And a little embarrassed. Embarrassed because I realized something. When I need applause and approval from people in order to feel good about myself, I am, in effect, saying that they are more important than God. I am making their opinion more significant than God’s.

Father in heaven, I am sorry for when I make the approval and opinions of people more important than Yours. Help me to remember that my honor depends on You–not on trophies, acceptance letters, or applause. Thank you for accepting me because of Jesus. Amen.

Next step: What is your heart’s response to the fact that your honor depends on God?

Filed Under: God's Relentless Love Tagged With: ,
August 6, 2013

When You Feel Like a Failure

strength of my heart

I often feel like a failure. And my inadequacy and errors make me want to give up. But when I look back on life, I see that what looked like failure, also had a positive impact on my life.

One summer my friends and I decided to have a fruit stand.

Only we didn’t sell fruit. And never mind that our street didn’t have much traffic.

We were sure that in no time, neighbors would stop by to buy all the extra tomatoes, onions, and cucumbers from our garden. My mom would have a little less to can and we would make a little cash for the candy store.

So my dad got an old table down from the attic and nailed on some long supports for a sign. I made the sign. Can you tell?

fruit stand027

The sign wasn’t perfect. The “fruit stand” wasn’t a roaring success. My brother, friend and I probably sold about 8 tomatoes, 5 cucumbers, and 20 glasses of lemonade during the week it was in operation.

The bottom line showed our fruit–vegetable-lemonade stand was a failure.

There have been many other things that I have tried and failed. Twenty-plus years ago I started speaking at schools about classical music. That speaking career flopped. I also wrote a Bible study about contentment that was never published. I wasn’t very content.

But there is one thing about failure. It’s better than not trying.

Thomas Edison wrote:

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

So I keep telling myself: Keep trying. Yes, when you try something new you might not succeed right away. You probably will experience some failure. But keep trying. Learn from the failures and move on.

My fruit stand was a bust, but my friends and I learned how to count change, make lemonade, and pick tomatoes. My classical music lectures were a failure, but now I do get to speak to women’s groups about Christ’s love. That contentment Bible study is still in a file drawer, but by God’s grace two other Bible studies have been published.

So if you’re trying something new and your first attempt looks a little like my fruit stand sign, remember to keep learning, keep growing, keep trying. You don’t know how close you are to success.

Lean on the Lord, He is our strength–even in our failures. God reminds us:

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Next step: When you feel like a failure, pray the promise of Psalm 73:26!

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: , ,
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